Zack, your theory of the origin of the universe is fascinating.
Really fascinating.
Ok, I can't take this.
The theory of the universe is the string theory,
not the string-cheese theory.
[Music plays]
Until next time, my sweet instructor.
Rrrr.
Hi, guys.
How are dance classes coming?
Oh, I need more students.
Otherwise, I won't have enough money
to send to my sister Esther carlotta.
She's having her quinceanera.
What's that?
Oh, it's a girl's 15th birthday.
It's a very big deal in my country.
If I cannot pay for it,
she'll be the only girl in my village who will not have a party.
So, why don't you just ask Mr. moseby for a raise?
I'm sorry.
So, little blond peoples,
to help me help my little sister,
will you please take my ballroom-dance class?
We're into more manly sports.
Yeah, we're more slam dunk than grand jet.
And some of us are too manly to even say,
let alone do, the grand jet.
Actually, I adore ballroom dancing.
Me, too. It's so romantic.
Really romantic.
Sign us up.
Aw... Aw...
Yeah. Yeah.
♪ Here I am in your life ♪
♪ here you are in mine ♪
♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪
♪ most of the time ♪
♪ you and me, we got the world to see ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ just me and you know what to do ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ it's you and me and me and you ♪
♪ we got the whole place to ourselves ♪
♪ you and me, we got it all for free ♪
♪ so come on down ♪
♪ this is the suite life ♪
♪ we've got a suite life ♪
[Music plays]
Good job, everyone. Now remember to hold your frame.
Like this. Unh.
Hey, Esteban, how's this?
Ooh, excellent. Fabulous.
Except you're dancing like a girl.
My mom made me wear these dancing shoes.
No, no, no. A man has to lead.
That's right, so follow my lead, only not so close.
Keep your arms locked and loosen your elbows, don't look at your feet.
I thought Esteban was supposed to be the teacher.
Oh, he is, so just pretend
you learned all this great stuff from him.
Ok? All right.
What are you all doing here?
Cody said you were teaching dance, and we couldn't wait to learn from the great Esteban.
So he told you I was desperate for money, and you took pity on me.
Pretty much.
Then I'm ok with that. Ok.
Sign me up, too.
I have a whole closet of ballroom-dancing clothes I finally get to wear
that I threw out.
Ok. This is so wonderful. Thank you all so much for joining my class.
[Coughs] Is this the ballroom-dance class?
Yes, it is. Are you here to enroll?
Yes. My doctor told me I needed some exercise,
but my nurse won't let me chase her around the living room anymore.
I'll be all right.
Would you like to learn to dance?
Oh, no, thank you. I'm working.
Shannon's only here to make sure I don't turn that shade of purple,
the one that makes my doctors nervous.
You got a partner for me? Somebody hot?
Oh, I have just the woman. [Whistles]
[Sing-song] Oh, Mrs. Mayweather?
Ay ai ai.
Hello, precious.
Esteban, good news.
I have booked the Boston ballroom-dance competition for here at the tipton.
Now, if your school takes first place,
you get $1,000.
Oh, gracias, Mr. moseby.
You booked this to help me pay for my sister's quinceanera.
No. I just wanted a trophy.
Do we all get trophies?
Come on, people.
Let's keep our priorities straight, all right?
We're here to help Esteban win the money. Thank you.
Although a trophy would be nice.
Don't worry. We're going to win this trophy for you.
So let's get dancing.
[Music plays]
Whoa!
[Crash]
Ooh, that sounded like it really hurt.
Really, really hurt.
That dance class was fantastic.
Don't Jessica and I make a great team?
Oh, fabulous.
Switch partners with me.
No way. Gimme one good reason.
You can't lead Jessica. She's pushing you around like a mop.
A happy mop.
What's wrong with Janice?
She's got noodle arms. It's like dancing with spaghetti.
I'll never win the junior division with her.
Then why should I take her?
'Cause you'll never win with anyone.
That is...
Probably true.
Come on, we need to win this for Esteban.
Fine, I'll switch.
Oh, thanks, man. Have I ever told you that I loved you? No.
Hmm, you think I would have.
Hello, ladies.
Both: Hi.
You know, the codester and I were talking last night,
and we have something very important to tell you. Take it away, Cody.
We think you two are so adorable
that we would like to get the chance to dance with each of you,
so can we switch partners?
How sweet. Really sweet.
It was all my idea.
I would like you to meet my new dance partner--Lori.
Hi, Lori.
Hello, Lori.
Esteban tells me you guys are great,
so we're gonna win this thing.
Yes. Lori and I will be competing in the advanced division.
Well, uh, I've seen better.
Why can't I be your partner?
'Cause you're with me now, baby, and we're gonna dance till I'm blue in the face.
Well, that won't take long. You were out of breath when you walked in the room.
Ok, everyone, let's go over what dance each couple will be doing.
London, Lance, what do you feel comfortable doing?
Shopping. Swimming.
I meant what dance?
The swim. The shop.
The samba it is.
I think you two should do the waltz.
Ah... Ok.
Ok, next time, I'll wear my flats, you wear lifts.
I already am. [Snickers]
Ok, little blond peoples, you will be doing the tango.
Ooh, the tango. That's romantic.
Really romantic.
You and your partner must move as one.
You must hold your partner so closely
that this magazine cannot fall.
Excellent. You got a thinner magazine?
Man, the tango is great.
Really great.
You know, Esteban,
I really think our team has a chance of winning this thing.
Oh, especially because Lori and I are gonna win the advanced division.
Lori?
Where'd she go?
She said you were all pathetic losers and left.
What?
What did she say?
You were a pathetic loser.
Oh.
Don't worry. We don't need Lori.
We're fantastic, right, people?
All: Right.
Let's dance.
[Music plays]
You're really a lovely dancer, Mr. moseby.
Yes, I know.
Now would you scrunch down a little, please?
Why don't you scrunch up? [Grunts]
Scrunching.
Ah-choo!
Oh. Oh.
Oh, you loogied on my tie clip.
Sorry.
I can't afford to get sick before this competition.
I'm the one that has to carry this team.
You can't even reach this half of the team. Oh.
[Music stops] Stop.
Who turned off the music?
We have to practice our tango.
[Tango music plays]
Jessica, you're leading again.
I'm leading because we're hesitating.
I'm hesitating because you keep criticizing me.
Because you're not doing it right.
Because you're yelling.
You're the one who's yelling!
Janice, Esteban says
you need to hold your noodle--
I mean, arms up.
I'm sorry, Cody. Really sorry.
I'm just not very confident.
Don't worry, baby.
I'll take care of everything.
Ready and... [Music stops]
Our turn.
We're not done.
We didn't even start. We need to practice.
Fish boy here has to get back to the pool.
Fish boy?
I like it.
Do I have any superpowers?
Yes. You have the power to bore me to tears.
Cool.
[Samba music plays]
Oh, now remember--
Esteban said to count out the beats.
1, 2...
3...
All: 4!
Dancing would be more fun
if it weren't for all this math.
[Turns off music]
Hey!
We need to practice since we're the only ones with a chance of winning.
Beg to differ. I think Mr. moseby and I stand a pretty good chance
once we solve the scrunching problem.
Please. Fish boy and I are gonna put you all to shame.
And I have superpowers.
[All argue at once]
Oh, this is a disaster!
You're right, Esteban.
We should be practicing, not arguing.
Oh, I don't care about that.
I do not have a partner, and if we do not win this prize money,
my sister will not have her sweet 15 until she's 20.
I'll dance with you, my little Latin firecracker.
No, no, no, no.
I would not want to take you away from seor Leo.
Fine with me. I got my eyes on another honey.
Do you salsa?
I hate to break up a pair,
but since the advanced division is worth the most points,
I think I should take the best dancer in the class.
Ah, ha ha ha ha.
Esteban, Esteban.
I am extremely flattered.
But who's gonna break it to Carey? She's gonna...
I am talking about Carey.
Both: Carey?!
Really? You think I'm the best dancer in the class?
Don't be ridiculous.
She can't cha-cha.
Oh, yeah? Hit it.
[Music plays]
[Music stops]
Ooh, Carey, you are my new dance partner.
Yay! Thank-choo.
[Stuffed up] Sorry I'm late.
Carey, why are you talking funny?
What do you mean?
Oh, you're sick.
No, I'm not. [Hacking cough]
Yes, I am.
[Music plays]
Ow. You stepped on me again.
I stepped on you because your foot's not supposed to be there.
That's where you led me.
Hah. It'd be easier to lead a donkey.
Don't you be so rude to my sister.
Oh, like it's my fault she pushes me around like a bulldozer.
[Both gasp]
I will not be spoken to that way. No, we won't.
But w-w-w-w-wait. That was a compliment. How?
I have no idea.
And now for the junior competition.
May I have all competitors on the dance floor, please?
Now what do we do?
Esteban is counting on us, and we don't have partners.
I wouldn't be so sure.
Just follow my lead.
I can do that.
[Tango music plays]
Oh, just tell me when it's over.
We need a big finale.
I know. Just think light.
Yeah, we did it. All right.
Did ya see that, Esteban?
We did great. The lift was awesome.
Yes, but lifting is illegal.
I'm sure no one noticed.
We noticed.
Don't worry, dude. They may have lost,
but London and I are gonna make a big splash.
We're doomed.
[Music plays]
[Music stops]
And now it's jive time.
[Music plays]
I got you, babe.
Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!
[Crash]
Ice pack?
Ok...Ow. Oh.
According to my calculations,
if you and Carey dance perfectly, we can still win the prize money.
Ok, let's practice before we go on.
Ok. Stop spinning me.
I haven't started yet.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I was up all night coughing, and I'm just--I'm a little--
I'm tired. [Snores]
Oh, no, what am I gonna do?
I have no partner, and I'm almost up.
Hey, Esteban. Lori!
Oh, thank goodness you're here. I need a partner.
Sorry, I already have one.
One with whom she cannot lose.
Alexander.
The great.
Ooh, you are good.
[Music plays]
Oh, my poor sister will never be a woman now.
I have no partner and no prize money.
Well, maybe I could do it.
You know how to dance? A little.
And I've been watching you guys these past few weeks,
and I think I know the steps.
Ok, let's do it.
Wait. But she can't dance dressed like that.
I don't have anything else.
No problem.
Perfect. Turn around.
[All gasp]
And yet, she can't figure out a payphone.
[Music ends]
And now our final contestants--
Esteban julio Ricardo Montoya de la rosa Ramirez--
[inhales]
And Shannon kwine.
Let's cha-cha.
[Music plays]
[Music ends]
Ah, well done, Esteban.
You were incredible.
I've been watching a great teacher. Who?
All: You!
And the winning team is the dance school
of Esteban julio Ricardo montoy--that guy.
Yeah!
Esteban, now you have enough money
to pay for your little sister's quinceanera.
Oh, yes, and I would like to thank everyone
from the heart of my bottom.
Bottom of my heart.
That, too.
Let's go celebrate.
[All cheer]
Mom...
Mommy.
Come on, guys. Ice cream's on me.
Oh, Mr. clooney, you dance divinely.
[Dance music plays]